John Burns keeps it going

On the board:

And all this, dear reader, came to pass without lowering King Sam’s standards, for the young knight and his band of brothers were all, to a man, deserving of places in that special little school in that special little town, and never will you hear that gainsaid. Yea, verily I say unto thee, most of the young knights errant who tended the flame in the days of the Lefthander would not gain admittance to that place today. And so, my young ones, be it known throughout the land, that Davidson does things the right way.

And verily it came to pass that Sir Dell and his Lady of Curry came to the keeper of the bottle and asked that he take care of their young knight in training. When the keeper agreed, Sir Dell entrusted him with a magic bean which had been a gift of the basketball gods. The magic bean was planted in the bottle. The keeper watered the magic bean and cared for it until the beanstalk had grown all the way to the top of the NCAA sky. Then the keeper and young Steph climbed the beanstalk, defeated the Zag guarding the castle in the sky and then slew Goliath himself.

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