Jan. 20, 2008

Me, up late:

There are ups and downs and profanities and jubilations -- but they're always there, and we're always there.

That's what it is.

At halftime today, the court was lined with 70 years' worth of men who have left our collective home away from home and made their way out of the bubble to create wonderfully full lives. They came back and stood before us so that we, no longer teenagers but barely adults, could see the significance that this place holds for them, and that there is much more history behind today's dunks and threes and blocks and steals and rap music intervals than we realize. And that our boys, holed away in the locker room planning, have a place in this history -- and therefore, so do we.

It's a humbling feeling. And honestly, it's not humbling because it's basketball and we're oh-so-good at it and we can get national recognition for such a small school; it's because I will always be able to say that I am a part of this COMMUNITY that comes together to support each other, that becomes joyously one in so many ways -- yes, this is only one.

It feels kind of silly to be so emotional about a basketball team, trying to write about it in such a life-altering sense, and I know that my male family members deserve some of the credit for passing on their intense sports-angst to one of their few daughters. But it's that word up there in caps -- the word that inspires so much of what I write, the very real concept that brings a grin to my face at some point every single day -- that leads me to this point. Standing there in that arena that only holds about 5,500 people, I can scream, jump around, sing, laugh, shriek -- I can be completely myself (sometimes with a little extra profanity thrown in) and it's fine with everyone else, it's welcomed by them. I can start cheers if my sports-angsty heart moves me, and people will join in. There I stand in the sold out student section behind the basket, with a very deep knowledge that this is exactly where I am supposed to be -- not only in this hour, but in my life. At this place, in the state of North Carolina, in this dorm room writing at 2 in the morning, not knowing so many things. But it's okay, because this place -- most importantly, these people -- bring me such joy.

And so it semi-started with a basketball game, but it will never end.

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